i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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