uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize