he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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