can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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