My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
