i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
