She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
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