At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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