Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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