dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
