Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
