did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize