I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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