I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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