Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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