we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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