What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
