I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
