you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize