how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Floor bacon is actually really good
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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