**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
