Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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