Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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