so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
