He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
