my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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