gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
