omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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