I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
