Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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