some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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