spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
