I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
