maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
