I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
