# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
