i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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