i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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