thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
