Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
