I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
