if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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