We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am spending my child support on dildos
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize