He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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