Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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