**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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