I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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