i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
