summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
