i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Someone signed my nipple.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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