There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
