it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
