I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
