Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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