Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize