This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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